Say What?!: Researchers Claim Evidence of Russian Bigfoot

MOSCOW, Russia – Moscow researchers said they have evidence an Almas – a legendary primate known as the Russian Bigfoot — is wandering the woods near the city.

Andrei Stroganov, a biophysical technologist at Moscow’s Agricultural Academy, said he collected a fragment of tree bark near the city that bears the signs of having been marked by a large primate, and he fingered an Almas as the culprit.

“The Almas is cosmopolitan,” Stroganov joked when asked about the creature living so close to the capital. “I am not worried: They are benevolent and need our protection.”

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